Late-Night Hosts Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Residency Scheme

Television's top hosts used their broadcast criticizing President Donald Trump's newly launched visa initiative, called the "golden visa," describing it as a clear pay-for-access system for the rich.

Colbert's Sarcastic Analysis

Starting his broadcast, Stephen Colbert offered a sardonic Christmas song targeting the commander-in-chief. "He's making a list, reviewing it twice, then giving that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "Trump ... ruins everything he comes into contact with."

The focus was the controversial program which permits international nationals to acquire U.S. residency for an investment of a million dollars, with a "premium" tier for 5 million. An official portal pledges approval "faster than ever."

"One message here to affluent foreigners: prior to you pay, what about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the card is also intended to "extract cash" from businesses wanting to hire foreign workers, requiring significant costs. "That is a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you additionally get free accommodation at a property of your choosing – if it's the that one hotel," he added.

"The best background check the government has ever done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these people absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many burgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"This is a card that will let affluent foreigners to live here," he explained. "For a million bucks, you get official visitor status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your choosing."

"Maybe it's time to revise that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your poor masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the form, saying it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "thinks citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Indeed, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "It's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers on Affordability Issues

On another network, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's slipping poll ratings amid economic anxiety. "People gave Donald Trump a another term since they were angry about the economy," he said.

Recently, in a effort to discuss prices, Trump held a briefing in front of a array of grocery items, where he reacted peculiarly to some cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a long time."

"Trump is so fucking weird," Meyers said. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by criticizing conservative news coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to what FIFA did," he joked.